journaling | mindwi.seedit
2022-07-06: Right now, I'm feeling at cross roads regarding my long term goals of living out of nothing or providing a regular life for my children.2022-07-07: It was rainy this morning and bike commute was quite wet, I'm due for a new jacket. Got a really nice canadiano (really just an americano) this morning with 4 (!) shots of espresso.
2022-07-08: Just re-read Ultralight by Leo Babauta this morning, to keep me aligned on my goal to live lightly. I struggle a lot when it comes to not look for better things that add up on the burden.2022-07-09: Having many short-burst talks with my wife (because toddler!), we are aligning our thoughts and goals together once again.
2022-07-10: Taking a slow day is quite nice, kids enjoy being with you, wife appreciates the lifestyle and I am fulfilled with happiness.2022-07-11: Started to read my first book about Buddhism, to see things as they are. Also, moving in a larger apartment soon.
2022-07-12: I'm keeping up with my goal to stop reading the news since more than a week now. Hopefully, I'll keep it as is forever.2022-07-13: Wife had to go to the hospital with the little one today, luckily it is OK. Otherwise, I'm about to sell the car, after super expensive repair has been done.
2022-07-14: Not super hungry these days, unsure why. Unsure if I should go car-free or replace my car with a lower value one.2022-07-15: as I’m typing this, waiting for a flight departing at midnight. Changing a routine is what I should aim for.
2022-07-16: Travelling from QC to east of Sault Ste. Marie, about 900 km today. Lots of good talks with by fellow traveller.2022-07-17: Travelling up to west of Moorhead, Minnesota, about 1150 km today. Discovered Murising, Michigan as a really nice spot to come back to later.
2022-07-18: Travelling up to Drummond, Montana, about 1450 km. Pure sickness!2022-07-19: Travelling up to North Vancouver, about 1060 km. Stuck in the obvious traffic of Seattle, otherwise quite a nice drive!
2022-07-20: Back in our small space with an extra family member, difficult to manage, but we will move soon in a larger unit.2022-07-21: Went to the beach, slept for a bit, then head back to our place for a slow-paced afternoon.
2022-07-22: Tried to organise our somewhat overflowing locker unit, but gave up as we are in-between homes and lot of stuff is listed for sale anyway.2022-07-23: Went for a quick hike with kids today, it was nice and fun to be in nature, but quite crowded sadly.
2022-07-24: About to list the car for sale, removing accessories and cleaning it makes me realise it is a huge pain to deal with.2022-07-25: I started to plan a 2-month US road trip with my wife and kids for next year.
2022-07-26: I find interesting most of the tech stuff I read online, especially when it is unusual (jailbreaking an Apple TV 2nd gen per example or installing MacOS on an Apple TV 1st gen), but why do I have the need to replicate it? I don't need that additional complexity in my life, that will result in a dead object sooner than later.2022-07-27: Did a 30km bike ride late at night again. It feels nicer than biking during the day because there is less cars, less noise, less crazyness, just pure joy of riding.
2022-07-28: I continue my trip to downsizing my mental load to a mindful state by reducing tech dependency and life expectations. I still think about living in a small town in BC with the bare minimum so my kids can learn real life, disconnected from a virtual world.2022-07-29: null
2022-07-30: null2022-07-31: null
2022-08-01: Totally forgot about journaling for 3 days in a row... well it was my birthday yesterday (if that's an excuse).2022-08-02: Ordered an old 14" iBook G4 (same generation than my first mac that was a 12" iBook) on eBay because I fell for the retrocomputing thing again (last one was with an 2006 MacBook Pro). Will probably just install the bare minimum on it and a few games.
2022-08-03: Also thinking about getting an old 11" MacBook Air from 2015 as a daily driver.2022-08-04: I can't wait to move to a larger unit since we are now 5 living in 540 square feet. Struggling is too weak of a word now. At the same time, we need to come up with a mid-term solution on where we want to move and buy a property when the market goes down.
2022-08-05: Going camping this weekend with a new large tent. Will try to work remotely with little to none access to power.2022-08-06: null
2022-08-07: Got a deal on a 11" MacBook Air (Early-2015), for CA$250. It supports Monterey, but is expected to be dropped for Ventura, but I don't really care. I like the even smaller form factor than the MacBook Air 2020.2022-08-08: Camping since two days without cellphone coverage is awesome. Dipped late at night in the river, surrounded by nature, no sound except the current, meditating on a rock for a bit.
2022-08-09: Working remotely from a coffee shop, I feel like a nomad. Struggling if that is a thing I would like on the long term, but it is still an awesome routine.2022-08-10: Sitting in an indie coffee shop to work again, a guy is playing guitar, decor is awesome and the village is quiet as it should be. Need to turn my life to this type of work, play, rest, stay.
2022-08-11: Probably our last day of a 5-day camp trip, last night had a great thunderstorm. This morning, I had a great chat with a guy at the campground, reminding me of the benefits to connect to people in nature.2022-08-12: Turned out the guy from yesterday is all out in conspiracies. HAARP modifying the climate with chem trails, government lies about everything, news are not telling us the truth. As most would have done, I'm not trying to avoid the guy, but I question my own behaviour towards the information that is provided to me all the time (related to my want to stop reading news). Truth lies between this guy and the obvious channels of infotainment.
2022-08-13: Using the new-to-me MacBook Air from 2015 is a real charm. USB-A plug so I can use a USB thumb drive to do manual backup, MagSafe connector instead of a USB-C for power, keyboard feel is awesome, battery life is still a good 7 hours (quite pale compared to 15+ hours of the M1 MacBook Air, but still), plus it can take a beating and I barely care since I paid $250 for it. Thinking about selling the newer MBA for about $1,000. Should I? I feel like hacking the hedonic treadmill.2022-08-14: Unable to keep my mind calm at all time of the day is what I really struggle with right now. Had a stupid argument with my wife over stupid stuff. Felt bad about it, still am. I now feel that in my fight against mindlessness, I'm somewhat mindless too.
2022-08-15: Biked to work today with a longer commute (22 km one-way), feels good even though my morning routine for a long ride isn't streamlined. I struggle to pack efficiently.2022-08-16: Having kids change me so much more than I expected. I crave for their smiles, and at the same time I can't stand to hear them crying. I struggle with living in a small space with toys all over the place, but I enjoy having fun with them outside. I hate the benefits provided to the mother (maternity and parental leave) as it assumes you don't need your full wage during your time off work, which is plain stupid in today's world.
2022-08-17: Already sold back the iBook G4 I got for $10 more than what I paid for. Slim margin, but I changed my mind about collecting old stuff and the condition of the laptop was not so great. eBay listings are always hit and miss.2022-08-18: Even tough I bike to work since a few days, I feel full of energy in the morning. The issue is in the middle of the day, at work, where I just want to sleep on a park bench under the sun.
2022-08-19: 9pm yesterday and I was sleeping. Tired I told you. But then at 5am, I woke up naturally and I felt great. I’m typing these words with full of energy and focus. I like it. Changing my bedtime to earlier might be a goal to have and to keep.2022-08-20: Biked late at night with my child, stopping at a few spots he enjoys (garden, park, beach) and it made me happy about life in general.
2022-08-21: We were at a shower party that day, where we had a good time mostly, but we always feel out of our place during gift giving and unwrapping. It just doesn't feel quite right to us.2022-08-22: Somebody said one day "All cyclists are my friends" and I agree. Waving at other cyclists while riding bring a smile to both of us that is difficult to define. I never actually rode a bike and was sad at the same time.
2022-08-23: Yielding at a pedestrian while you ride your bike is an act of kindness, but it is also rewarding for your soul. People will be genuinely be happy that you think of them as a priority instead of racing your way. I slow my roll not because I was told to, but so others can smile at me and I feel like I'm doing the right thing.2022-08-24: Sitting in front of the computer, without any other tab opened, alone in a room and just think by yourself can leads to great words aligned.
2022-08-25: I discovered Rob Greenfield few years ago, but I still feel the need to rediscover him from time to time just for the sake of challenging my vision of the world. This guy is a true challenger. He doesn't try to impose his lifestyle on others (because it is extreme for most) and yet, he finds new ideas since 10+ years now. If I can do one-tenth of what he experienced, I would call myself a monk.2022-08-26: Quitting fast food for good is on my hit list. No more wasting money and carbs into pizza, burgers or other low quality foods. I never feel good after eating it anyway.
2022-08-27: Had an argument about our general life guidance. Both of us are right and wrong. We need to aim better at our goals and focus.2022-08-28: Moving day, from 6th floor to the 3rd one within the same building. It is a lot of work even if not a long distance to move stuff around and we are minimalists (with kids).
2022-08-29: Life unfolds in weird ways sometimes, but post-pregnancy can leads to great thing arousing your senses.2022-08-30: Having a bad cup of coffee from a single-serve/pod-type machine brings me back to why I grind beans and spend time on each cup I make to myself.
2022-08-31: By either thinking about cars, electronics, house, anything really, I came to the conclusion that everything eventually turns to shit anyway. My car breaks all the time, my electronics want attention and updates but then get obsolete, house is a massive money pit. By trying to have nothing, you get less things that turn into shit, then your life is less shitty.2022-09-01: Living lightly is what I aim for. And today more than ever, I know that it is what I really want in life. A simple, light and mindful life. Do I have more than I need? Then I'm rich. No object will bring me more happiness, all I want is family, love, a shelter, good food and good times.
2022-09-02: I decided to tackle the smallest objects in my life that accumulate in every corners. Things like paper user manual in the car’s glovebox, random spare parts for sport gear, hand sanitizer sample bottles, duplicate tools, documents, etc. I’m aiming to centralize my personal items in a single spot in my house instead of having them all over the place. This way, I’m no longer going to think about where it is or where I should put it.2022-09-03: Meditation should also be put in priority in my life. I tend to forget it since it is not yet in my routine, but it should.
2022-09-04: Today was a day of finishing small household projects, and it feels good. Painted a moose kid toy, installed a TV on the wall, cooked a good meal, cleaned the locker after our move, went for a walk with the kids. Simple things are the best.2022-09-05: A week ago, we moved and it greatly improved our mood. Living 5 in 540 square feet is insane. We now have 850sf plus a large 150sf balcony we enjoy quite a bit. Issue is to avoid bringing too much stuff in this space to keep it lean.
2022-09-06: Trying to sell my MacBook Air M1 revealed two things. First is that people value it lower than myself. Second is that I now notice everybody with the same laptop and I'm hesitating to sell it purely because of a keep up with the Joneses.2022-09-07: Reading this from Leo reminds me the importance of not judging things and to get rid of expectations.
2022-09-08: The perfect timing is pedalling during a sunny day, but not too warm, not too cold (around 15 degrees) on a slightly down slope, where the wind goes in the same direction, reducing the noise in my ears to nothing and where all you see is people smiling, but you temporary mute the misery of the rest of the world.2022-09-09: I don't feel like sharing much today. It's one of those days.
2022-09-10: Rode my bike tonight from 10pm to midnight, felt really good. At that time, I don't listen to music while I ride, as I enjoy the near-silent ambiance and focus on each pedal stroke.2022-09-11: Still trying to sell my MacBook Air M1, but offers are too low. Starting to wonder if I should sell the 11" MacBook Air for a quick profit instead.
2022-09-12: No entry2022-09-13: No entry
2022-09-14: Biked to work at 4:30am for the last two days, it is awesome. Almost no cars, no noise. I wish we can build cities without all the cons of motorized vehicles: noise, smell, pollution, class discrimination, etc.2022-09-15: Isn't strange that having time off wandering in the woods is considered an experience? Shouldn't it be oife as a whole, being part of nature?
2022-09-16: Got stuck by rain on my morning bike commute and I was smiling like there is no tomorrow.2022-09-17: We are still unsure of where to settle for good, where to rent or to buy. for long term and this situation put a toll on our mental wellbeing. Housing prices are insanely high and mortgage rates are up big time.
2022-09-18: More and more, the Internet is getting narrower to me. I reduced the number of websites I visit and trust to a handful of them. It feels so good to open a web browser and have almost nowhere to go. I might get to the point that personally, I no longer need a home connection to the Internet, rather only using the ones freely available at the libraries or coffee shops.2022-09-19: I’ve been meditating on an irregular basis for about 2 months now and I must need to say that it helps myself a lot. It is difficult to pinpoint, but it seems that an empty space is created and I don’t feel the need to fill it whatsoever, which is quite unusual in today’s standards.
2022-09-20: After updating my iPhone XS to iOS 16, a significant drop in battery life (from 2+ days to barely one day) made me realize that if it is not broken, don't upgrade. I need no new features anyway. Rolled back to iOS 15.7 since Apple still sign it.2022-09-21: I tens to pack real light when I commute to work by bike and I really like the feeling of being to the bare minimum. It feela like I removed the excess and I just go with the flow.
2022-09-22: Being let down by a family member is rough, especially when you gave time, energy and money to help him out to move accross the country. Well, it’s a reminder that you can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.2022-09-23: No entry
2022-09-24: Just decided to keep the MacBook M1 finally and probably sell either the old 2012 MacBook Pro or the newish 2015 MacBook Air. Thing is, the 2012 is stuck (officially) on Catalina, but is highly modulable (battery is easily replaceable, 2nd disk space when removing the SuperDrive, etc) and the 2015 is really compact, but the screen is really setting it back and the 4 GB of RAM is the limit sometimes. Anyhow, it will be used by the family only, for light browsing, streaming and to sync music.2022-09-25: Having kids make you realize how stupid you were when you think you were tired at 20 years old. Damn, it's difficult!
2022-09-26: Got proposed to apply on a higher position within the corporation but I still struggle about living in this high cost of living area where finding a 3-bed condo under a million bucks is impossible. It feels excessive that in order to try to access the bare minimum for a family of 4, I need to slave myself to reach close to a 6-figure salary and longer working hours. We think about the possibility of moving in the Calgary area.2022-09-27: Biked late tonight, stopped as usual to contemplate the night, the darkness and the silence but I found out that our cities are not built to gratify darkness and silence, such a bummer.
2022-09-28: No entry2022-09-29: No entry
2022-09-30: The fact that I skipped few days recently equals that I'm really tired physically and just thinking about typing words on my laptop makes me even more tired. Otherwise, we went to a small farm with the kids today and it felt great!2022-10-01: No entry
2022-10-02: Gaming on the Nintendo Switch is really nice. Starting to think to get one for myself to play simple games.2022-10-03: Ordered a Patagonia Black Hole 25-liter backpack to replace all my backpacks and to use as a EDC. My Black Diamond BBEE 11 is really nice, but my work laptop doesn't fit well in it and it is quite tight when I need to bike with stuff.
2022-10-04: Yesterday, I mentally gave up on my lifestyle. The housing crisis here ruined my life. I got sick of biking to work because it represents my energy to cut costs to try to access property, but it lamentably failed. While I ride my bike like a peasant, I see rich folks driving expensive vehicle to and fro their mansions. I don't want to compare myself, but it gets you at one point or another.2022-10-05: Our plan to move to a lower cost of living area is on. Calgary fits the bill as we want to buy a 3-bed house, without strata fees, under $500k. We are aiming at next March to move if things (mostly jobs) get aligned. Having a regular house is really what we want for years. No more bullcrap of horizontal condos (townhouses) with high strata fees and no possibilities to use the land, no more bullcrap of close to a million dollars and still not liking it. Sure, we will be more car-dependant, but in North America, I feel like there is no in-between expensive city living and cheaper, car-centric living. My goal is to have my job close to home (within 5-6 km) so I can bike and to be less than 18 km from my wife's workplace. This way, we can keep a single car. I'm confident we can find our sweet spot soon.
2022-10-06: Got a Nintendo Switch Lite, gonna invest few hours to entertain myself a bit, I feel like I really need it as my life is going sideways.2022-10-07: No entry
2022-10-08: No entry2022-10-09: No entry
2022-10-10: No entry2022-10-11: Am I loosing faith in journaling? Or maybe I just don't take time?
2022-10-12: Still totally puzzled about where to live. We think about outdoor activities, kids future, cost of life, space, having the right amount of bedrooms for each of us, having friends close-by, being able to travel locally to camp and hike, being able to take time off work and just live. It is not easy to live freely, we feel the constant burden of finances and doing the right thing to stop moving around.2022-10-13: Ended up returning the backpack as it's a solution in search of a problem. Going to keep the BBEE 11 as the main one. Work laptop can stay put at work most of the time anyway.
2022-10-14: Starting next Monday and for two weeks, I'm going to bike-commute to a new location at 19 km from home instead of 3 km as the closest office. Leaving at 4:30am in the morning and with a temperature of 9 degrees, I must prep!
I stopped journaling after 3 months, but I might start unexpectedly in the future.
2023-02-13: The day before Valentine day. And I want to start journaling again. To be honest, I'm dying to write. About everything and about nothing whatsoever. These days, I'm fascinating about buying an old Mac to have an air-gapped computer, without the Internet. So I can write freely, without interaction from outside world, without notifications, without the loss of focus every 30 seconds, without today's expectations from all. We shall see if the desire to write last and if the isolation is required.
2023-03-31: It's been a while. I really want to write daily, but I don't allocate time to do it, stupidly. We moved few weeks ago after we bought a house in Calgary. We are busy, tired and exhausted because we decided to invest time, energy and money to renovate all bedrooms. Removing pop-corn ceiling, old carpet, fixing walls and ceilings, painting, trying to choose a new carpet to be installed, etc. It is time consuming, especially with kids running around. We will make it though. After this big project, we might settle for smaller ones around the house, in and out.
2023-04-06: Sitting in our new dinning room to work from home, I'm starting to realize how good our recent move is. We are lucky to live in a safe and quiet neighbourhood, the season is sunny, temperature is warming slowly, our new house isn't perfect (and will never be), but it is family-friendly, we have space now to breathe and grow all together.